in the last week:
i found part of a black cat's tail while walking the dog. i carried it with me in a plastic bag for awhile, thinking i would do something (?) with it, but then EVERY CAT we saw was black after that, so i threw it away.
school started. the viewing list for my american musicals class includes hedwig and the angry inch and the rocky horror picture show! it also means i have to watch singin' in the rain for yet another class.
we watched two movies on my list (from the new york times' 1000 best movies): sugarland express and straw dogs. i recommend them, but the latter not before bed.
xo
Monday, September 29, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
like airplane! but not funny
1. please go to andrew sloan's listening party featuring the new of montreal album, skull lamping. it's at someday lounge, monday the 8th. i'm going to add a link to his blog today so you can read all about it. you! must! support!
2. i've seen two movies in the past week that i can't get out of my head and i think everyone should see them in this order: rent the sweet hereafter, and then go directly to the theater afterwards and watch vicky cristina barcelona. that way you have contrast. snow vs. sun, incestuous vs. polyamorous, etc. they will balance in your system like a good salad dressing on your tongue.
3. a guy died at my gym two days ago. he was thirty-five and had a heart attack while he was playing basketball. life is brutal and beautiful and i hope i don't die in a gymnasium.
4. k. and i are going to massachusetts for a week starting wednesday, so while the rest of portland is seeing del the funky homosapien and cool kids (!) i am going to be eating lobster rolls and watching the red sox play at fenway park. pray for sun.
xo
2. i've seen two movies in the past week that i can't get out of my head and i think everyone should see them in this order: rent the sweet hereafter, and then go directly to the theater afterwards and watch vicky cristina barcelona. that way you have contrast. snow vs. sun, incestuous vs. polyamorous, etc. they will balance in your system like a good salad dressing on your tongue.
3. a guy died at my gym two days ago. he was thirty-five and had a heart attack while he was playing basketball. life is brutal and beautiful and i hope i don't die in a gymnasium.
4. k. and i are going to massachusetts for a week starting wednesday, so while the rest of portland is seeing del the funky homosapien and cool kids (!) i am going to be eating lobster rolls and watching the red sox play at fenway park. pray for sun.
xo
Friday, August 29, 2008
sunshine day
hi.. i am downloading music (four sufjan stevens records, devendra banhart and les savy fav)before heading back out to enjoy the sunshine.
yesterday:
~a man on a motorcycle riding on 39th ave. dropped a package of sausages and, instead of leaving them for the crows, he stopped traffic going both ways to pick them up. i think he was planning on bbq-ing those road weenies regardless of the bits of dirt.
~a small child (five, maybe? i am terrible with ages)in a shoddy red cape that looked like it was made of an old nightgown waved at me, unsmiling, as i left the gym. like a little serious man. like dustin hoffman.
~a table of perfectly normal people at work prayed before their meal, which is, in itself, exceptional, but get this: they prayed AFTER their appetizers but BEFORE the entrees! this isn't the first time i have seen this, but it is still curious to me. does god not provide the appetizers, therefore He is not to be thanked for them? is there a lesser diety in charge of calamari and bread? i am not against prayer (any more than i am against, say, adam sandler movies)but it's weird to so conspicuously display your faith in a restaurant. much like the so-called liberal homophobes: i don't care what those people do, just so long as they don't flaunt it right in my face. ha!
xo
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
summer absence..
so, hi! i haven't posted anything of substance this summer because it's been too beautiful outside to sit on the computer and write. i have been working on fiction writing, but in a notebook so i can take it outside in the yard or when i am riding the bus someplace.
things that have been happening:
1. the chickens started laying eggs! at first it was freaky to eat them because we are so disconnected from our food sources, it seemed like eating someone's poo. and it's strange to see stella running around with a worm hanging out of her mouth and know that whatever she eats is going to end up in the egg. hmm. i am thinking of putting them on different diets to see what effect that will have on the taste of the eggs. for example.. what would a steady diet of marshmallows make the yolks taste like? what about frosted flakes? rhubarb?
2. my running has fallen off, big time. i am unconcerned. my extremist self wants to sign up for the ironman on the moon competition, but my other self (the one that likes to sleep ten hours a night and thinks that popcorn makes a fine dinner)thinks this is dumb. they are duking it out presently.
3. i spent as much time as possible reading, writing and thinking this summer, and trying to spend time at the beach with my family. it's been a good one, in an unflashy way. i am unenthused about the advent of SCHOOL. it looms. like a giant cloud of stink on the horizon.
4. i am hoping to start a food blog soon, detailing the places i eat out and the food that i am making at home. more to come when the rain starts in earnest.
xo xo
things that have been happening:
1. the chickens started laying eggs! at first it was freaky to eat them because we are so disconnected from our food sources, it seemed like eating someone's poo. and it's strange to see stella running around with a worm hanging out of her mouth and know that whatever she eats is going to end up in the egg. hmm. i am thinking of putting them on different diets to see what effect that will have on the taste of the eggs. for example.. what would a steady diet of marshmallows make the yolks taste like? what about frosted flakes? rhubarb?
2. my running has fallen off, big time. i am unconcerned. my extremist self wants to sign up for the ironman on the moon competition, but my other self (the one that likes to sleep ten hours a night and thinks that popcorn makes a fine dinner)thinks this is dumb. they are duking it out presently.
3. i spent as much time as possible reading, writing and thinking this summer, and trying to spend time at the beach with my family. it's been a good one, in an unflashy way. i am unenthused about the advent of SCHOOL. it looms. like a giant cloud of stink on the horizon.
4. i am hoping to start a food blog soon, detailing the places i eat out and the food that i am making at home. more to come when the rain starts in earnest.
xo xo
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Thursday, July 3, 2008
things i forgot to say:
1. on sunday gigi and i went for a run and got sketched out by springwater corridor (again) so we ran into milwaukie. it was like we had taken a wrong turn and ended up in the suburbs of L.A.-- there is still a city vibe, but everyone is driving instead of walking or biking and there are tons of trees. i thought we were headed away from the storm that was coming, but on 70-something and king street, we were pummeled by raindrops. it was like getting slapped by hundreds of undersized goldfish. i couldn't see a thing and there were people standing on the balconies of their apartments watching the lightning hit the hills. looking into those apartments, with the toy-sized dogs and giant t.v. screens, made me happy, like the residents were living a different kind of life from mine. i hoped they were enjoying all the stouffer's mac and cheese that i am too paranoid to eat now. and it made me even happier to think of how i must seem crazy to them.
2. there were sign language interpreters at the billy idol show! they signed all of the lyrics for the deaf people in the audience. what a cool job!
xo
p.s. the other day keith and i were cheese shopping.
he: what about that one?
me: it isn't organic, though.
he: (pouty) man, i'm sick of organic!
2. there were sign language interpreters at the billy idol show! they signed all of the lyrics for the deaf people in the audience. what a cool job!
xo
p.s. the other day keith and i were cheese shopping.
he: what about that one?
me: it isn't organic, though.
he: (pouty) man, i'm sick of organic!
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
ups & downs
today was all over the map for me. i cannot divulge the biggest news of the day just yet, but when i do, hats will be flying through the air like mary tyler moore's. suspense, dear readers, makes the blog-o-sphere go 'round.
i recognized today that i am not going with my instincts with my revisions in writing -- i had a meeting with my ex-professor that was disheartening. (and when i say disheartening, i mean i am psycho-sensitive. and when i say psycho-sensitive, i mean i am not great at taking criticism.) i revised the fuck out of my work and didn't believe in what i was doing and of course it didn't pan out.
it's so hard to know when to stick to your guns and when not to! is that what i am meant to be learning here?
i then ran four shitty miles at the gym, which is the only place lately where i am not being chased by scary dogs who want to tear my sneakers and my dog to bits.
in thinking about last night with bob, i realised that it was just like old times in the best way (not in the we-are-subsisting-on-day-old-pastries kind of way). he has reestablished himself as essential in my life with the tenacity of a barnacle: so funny and fun and inspiring and smart and sassy. (is it ok to call a man sassy?) he is proposing a 33&1/3 concept soon so cross yr fingers that they see his greatness. go, bob, go.
xo
i recognized today that i am not going with my instincts with my revisions in writing -- i had a meeting with my ex-professor that was disheartening. (and when i say disheartening, i mean i am psycho-sensitive. and when i say psycho-sensitive, i mean i am not great at taking criticism.) i revised the fuck out of my work and didn't believe in what i was doing and of course it didn't pan out.
it's so hard to know when to stick to your guns and when not to! is that what i am meant to be learning here?
i then ran four shitty miles at the gym, which is the only place lately where i am not being chased by scary dogs who want to tear my sneakers and my dog to bits.
in thinking about last night with bob, i realised that it was just like old times in the best way (not in the we-are-subsisting-on-day-old-pastries kind of way). he has reestablished himself as essential in my life with the tenacity of a barnacle: so funny and fun and inspiring and smart and sassy. (is it ok to call a man sassy?) he is proposing a 33&1/3 concept soon so cross yr fingers that they see his greatness. go, bob, go.
xo
Monday, June 30, 2008
if billy idol is old, then so are we.
i am pleased to report that the mullet-to-mohawk ratio at the billy idol show is totally even. suckas payed fifty bucks for billy, but because bob is super music writerman, we got in for free and i got to wear a press pass sticker.
the best part of the show:
me: that girl is cute, right? (pointing to girl)
bob: yeah. (thinking) she looks like she would make a good gumbo.
the worst part of the show:
billy idol is a cheeseball. he changed "l.a. woman" to "PORTLAND WOMAN" and the lyrics to "hot in the city" (my favorite of his songs, hands down) to accomodate his portland crowd.
the pictures i got weren't great because in the very front by the stage, the crowd was super-scary: date rapist frat boys and girls who (i am NOT joking) threw their bras at billy, who looks like he's been embalmed. he can still sing, though!
xo
p.s. up until a few years ago, my dad thought a mullet was just a fish.
P. S.!
for a great example of a singer using a rhyming dictionary, Beyonce, please see Ted Leo and the Pharmacist's "Colleen" on the Living with the Living album. he's the rhyming MAN.
a bad ass life for me & you.
i got the 25th anniversary edition of London Calling this week from the library,and even though i have listened to the Clash maybe more than any other band during my lifetime (tied with the Pixies, i'd say, for longevity), the feeling i have for their music has suddenly altered.
the first Clash song i ever heard was "Clampdown". my older brother put it on a mix tape for me when i was twelve or thirteen. at the time, that was the only way i was introduced to good music. there was no internet, no access to college radio, and because we lived so close to the Canada then, we only received their radio stations, which have to play 40% Canadian music. (glass tiger, anyone?) i got the mix tapes and played them endlessly on a little pink boombox with pastel-colored buttons, alone in my musty room with the walls covered floor-to-ceiling with images cut out from magazines. they were the best part of my life then, i realize now: i hated where we lived, i was at the age where i hadn't grown into my adult features and teeth and didn't know how to wear clothes, i was in the beginning stages of cigarette addiction and was always trying to steal/smoke/hide them.
at that time, i loved the song but i didn't really get it. i knew it kicked the ass of bryan adams, of course, partly because it was not mainstream and partly because it wasn't a love song.
listening to it at this time in my life, though, it upset me and inspired me. i know that i am not suburban and square and wearing office shoes, but i am not as punk as i once was ~ punk in the d.i.y. sense, not in the unwashed sense. i have felt, lately, a little torn between my true desires and the view of myself from the outside, and it's partly from waiting on people who have more money than i have. and i have been bolstered by this album AGAIN and by watching the "Afro-Punk" documentary and by riding my bike most places and from the sun shining and from being in therapy. i feel like i can do whatever i want. why shouldn't i? why shouldn't we all?
xoxo
p.s. i just killed week one of my marathon training: 18 miles. blisters are my little babies and the veins on my arms are standing out today like a man's.
the first Clash song i ever heard was "Clampdown". my older brother put it on a mix tape for me when i was twelve or thirteen. at the time, that was the only way i was introduced to good music. there was no internet, no access to college radio, and because we lived so close to the Canada then, we only received their radio stations, which have to play 40% Canadian music. (glass tiger, anyone?) i got the mix tapes and played them endlessly on a little pink boombox with pastel-colored buttons, alone in my musty room with the walls covered floor-to-ceiling with images cut out from magazines. they were the best part of my life then, i realize now: i hated where we lived, i was at the age where i hadn't grown into my adult features and teeth and didn't know how to wear clothes, i was in the beginning stages of cigarette addiction and was always trying to steal/smoke/hide them.
at that time, i loved the song but i didn't really get it. i knew it kicked the ass of bryan adams, of course, partly because it was not mainstream and partly because it wasn't a love song.
listening to it at this time in my life, though, it upset me and inspired me. i know that i am not suburban and square and wearing office shoes, but i am not as punk as i once was ~ punk in the d.i.y. sense, not in the unwashed sense. i have felt, lately, a little torn between my true desires and the view of myself from the outside, and it's partly from waiting on people who have more money than i have. and i have been bolstered by this album AGAIN and by watching the "Afro-Punk" documentary and by riding my bike most places and from the sun shining and from being in therapy. i feel like i can do whatever i want. why shouldn't i? why shouldn't we all?
xoxo
p.s. i just killed week one of my marathon training: 18 miles. blisters are my little babies and the veins on my arms are standing out today like a man's.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
summer for sho!
well, kind of. the sun hasn't made a worthwhile appearance in weeks, it seems, but school is out. i think this was my first term at psu that i fully enjoyed, in part because i have committed myself to a lifetime of poverty and uncertainty and decided that i am focusing on writing. that's going to be my graduate degree, if they let me in. if my writing isn't enough, wait til they see me eat ramen with my toes.
the new picture on my profile is of me and chad eating at pambiche. i hadn't seen him in six freaking years! at a crucial point in our lives (well, i guess they are all crucial, if you want to be technical...) we were inseparable ~ dancing, drinking, laughing, eating the cheapest possible food so that we could go out in better style. one of my fondest memories of that time is falling asleep every day as the sun was coming up and little birds were singing outside the windows, which were inexplicably held open all summer with thomas kemper root beer bottles.
xo
p.s. if anyone wants the best veggie burger in town, it is at the Farm. knock three times and turn in a circle and then whisper "nutmeats" into the bartender's ear.
the new picture on my profile is of me and chad eating at pambiche. i hadn't seen him in six freaking years! at a crucial point in our lives (well, i guess they are all crucial, if you want to be technical...) we were inseparable ~ dancing, drinking, laughing, eating the cheapest possible food so that we could go out in better style. one of my fondest memories of that time is falling asleep every day as the sun was coming up and little birds were singing outside the windows, which were inexplicably held open all summer with thomas kemper root beer bottles.
xo
p.s. if anyone wants the best veggie burger in town, it is at the Farm. knock three times and turn in a circle and then whisper "nutmeats" into the bartender's ear.
Monday, June 9, 2008
more, more, more.
a recently unearthed pet peeve: when singers rhyme a word with itself. you would expect this sort of behavior from beyonce ("i could have another you in a minute/ matter of fact, he'll be here in a minute") but m.i.a.?! ("but you're fucking with my man & you text him all the time/ you might've had him once, but i've got him all the time") so unimaginative! i mean, plenty of things rhyme with "time": lime, slime, etc. c'mon. put yr back into it, ladies.
xo
xo
Friday, June 6, 2008
the new me.
in the past week i have done two things i would never have done in previous incarnations of myself:
1. ran to catch the bus.
i laughed at myself even while i was doing it. the driver looked like a hispanic elvis and was maybe the worst bus driver EVER. (brake, gas, brake, gas. not quite as rhythmic and sensical as i make it sound, however.)
2. ran to the video store to return my dvds.
i used to see this guy running to work every morning in a suit, with a backpack on, and i felt a strange kinship with him while i jogged to Video Lair, holding my movies, then returned them, dappled with sweat.
and on a somber note, the flicker died. he had nuerological damage and puncture wounds and they couldn't save him. my animal track record is now 1-1, with scout happily ensconced elsewhere (with e's parents.) i still say, bring it on, animal kingdom. mess with me and you'll get yourself adopted and shit.
xo
1. ran to catch the bus.
i laughed at myself even while i was doing it. the driver looked like a hispanic elvis and was maybe the worst bus driver EVER. (brake, gas, brake, gas. not quite as rhythmic and sensical as i make it sound, however.)
2. ran to the video store to return my dvds.
i used to see this guy running to work every morning in a suit, with a backpack on, and i felt a strange kinship with him while i jogged to Video Lair, holding my movies, then returned them, dappled with sweat.
and on a somber note, the flicker died. he had nuerological damage and puncture wounds and they couldn't save him. my animal track record is now 1-1, with scout happily ensconced elsewhere (with e's parents.) i still say, bring it on, animal kingdom. mess with me and you'll get yourself adopted and shit.
xo
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
wait. doesn't everyone pee in the shower?
yesterday, i was super-excited to get a run in before i had lunch with bob and gave myself plenty of time and got up early (for me. eight thirty!). then, halfway through the run, gigi lunged at something on the sidewalk, which turned out to be a northern flicker (one of only a handful of birds i can name). it half-flew away from us and into the street, barely missing getting smushed by a mini-van. i stopped traffic and ushered it to the other side safely. it was obviously hurt -- its feathers were all messed up and it was looking at me sideways and not flying away. i tried to convince myself that it's part of nature, that birds just die sometimes, etc., and ran a few more blocks, but i couldn't just leave him there.
i turned around and tied gigi to a fence and took off my tank top and chased little flicky through some rose bushes until i cornered him and wrapped him in my shirt. we walked to the community center and got a box from them and i walked home IN MY SPORTS BRA AND SHORTS and then drove him to the audobon society.
they said today that he ate mealworms but is still not doing that much better. they think he ran into a window and then got attacked by a cat, because he acts like he has a concussion or a bloody brain. if it's the latter, he won't live.
i feel strangely like this is the theme of my year, with scout leaving this week to new pastures and then finding the bird. i hope the next desperate animal that crosses my path doesn't hang around for a smelly two months while i find it a home or force me to walk twenty blocks in the rain, looking like some kind of third-rate sports prostitute.
xo
p.s. watch the documentary "how to draw a bunny" about ray johnson. so inspiring and cool!
i turned around and tied gigi to a fence and took off my tank top and chased little flicky through some rose bushes until i cornered him and wrapped him in my shirt. we walked to the community center and got a box from them and i walked home IN MY SPORTS BRA AND SHORTS and then drove him to the audobon society.
they said today that he ate mealworms but is still not doing that much better. they think he ran into a window and then got attacked by a cat, because he acts like he has a concussion or a bloody brain. if it's the latter, he won't live.
i feel strangely like this is the theme of my year, with scout leaving this week to new pastures and then finding the bird. i hope the next desperate animal that crosses my path doesn't hang around for a smelly two months while i find it a home or force me to walk twenty blocks in the rain, looking like some kind of third-rate sports prostitute.
xo
p.s. watch the documentary "how to draw a bunny" about ray johnson. so inspiring and cool!
Monday, June 2, 2008
recipe for disaster. (serves 2)
ingredients:
a two hour trip to the dentist in which they cannot make an impression of your tooth to fit it for a crown because something they have done to your gums made them bleed too much.
a vegan mocha brownie the size of your face.
a husband with a caffeine-deprived headache.
a desperate need to buy shoes appropriate for riding your bike.
stir, stir, stir. allow to marinate in its own sad, sugar-sick juices. leave out in the rain for an hour and serve with toast points.
xo
a two hour trip to the dentist in which they cannot make an impression of your tooth to fit it for a crown because something they have done to your gums made them bleed too much.
a vegan mocha brownie the size of your face.
a husband with a caffeine-deprived headache.
a desperate need to buy shoes appropriate for riding your bike.
stir, stir, stir. allow to marinate in its own sad, sugar-sick juices. leave out in the rain for an hour and serve with toast points.
xo
Friday, May 30, 2008
les savy fav, i am having your baby.
three things have happened this last week that will, hopefully, exact change in my life.
1. i think we finally found someone to adopt the beagle! erin's brother fell in love with her. he met her over the weekend when keith and i were in seattle watching the red sox play. (i am happy to inform you that the groundskeepers have resumed their fourth inning dance routine. this time it was michael jackson's "bad". i wept.) and who wouldn't fall in love with her? my fingers are crossed that their love affair blossoms. i imagine them riding down the highway, hair and ears blowing in the wind.
2. i went to a reading for the graduate fiction and non-fiction writing students at psu. it's been a long time since i have been around people taking their art seriously and not just bedazzling their knee socks or what-have-you. it was inspiring and i felt like a bit of a sham being there, too shy to eat the cheese platter or sit with anyone else. there was a woman who read excerpts from her fiction and she was so fucking great -- confident and talented and beautiful and unadorned -- i wanted to walk up to her afterward and either slap her or kiss her. i did neither. i smiled at her instead, knowing i would say something too enthusiastic and sound totally crazy, which has become my m.o. with people at school lately. it's like half of my existence is happening only inside my head, and then the outside world doesn't get it. too exclamatory. too cheerleader-y. so i am hoping that i see her at school and i can calmly, rationally say (insert psuedo-intellectual voice here) "i really liked your reading." and then walk away. i hate social graces.
3. i have officially quit drinking. i woke up wednesday feeling like total trash and i spent a few hours with jeffrey, who is a 5-years-sober ex-drinker, and we ate dandelion greens with bacon. he cemented my desire to quit and also assured me, just by example, that being sober doesn't have to be dry and boring and square. it can be smart and sexy and hilarious and interesting: in short, like jeffrey. i am debating taking up a new addiction. maybe sex, or licorice, or jumping jacks, or cloud-counting. any suggestions are welcome.
xo
1. i think we finally found someone to adopt the beagle! erin's brother fell in love with her. he met her over the weekend when keith and i were in seattle watching the red sox play. (i am happy to inform you that the groundskeepers have resumed their fourth inning dance routine. this time it was michael jackson's "bad". i wept.) and who wouldn't fall in love with her? my fingers are crossed that their love affair blossoms. i imagine them riding down the highway, hair and ears blowing in the wind.
2. i went to a reading for the graduate fiction and non-fiction writing students at psu. it's been a long time since i have been around people taking their art seriously and not just bedazzling their knee socks or what-have-you. it was inspiring and i felt like a bit of a sham being there, too shy to eat the cheese platter or sit with anyone else. there was a woman who read excerpts from her fiction and she was so fucking great -- confident and talented and beautiful and unadorned -- i wanted to walk up to her afterward and either slap her or kiss her. i did neither. i smiled at her instead, knowing i would say something too enthusiastic and sound totally crazy, which has become my m.o. with people at school lately. it's like half of my existence is happening only inside my head, and then the outside world doesn't get it. too exclamatory. too cheerleader-y. so i am hoping that i see her at school and i can calmly, rationally say (insert psuedo-intellectual voice here) "i really liked your reading." and then walk away. i hate social graces.
3. i have officially quit drinking. i woke up wednesday feeling like total trash and i spent a few hours with jeffrey, who is a 5-years-sober ex-drinker, and we ate dandelion greens with bacon. he cemented my desire to quit and also assured me, just by example, that being sober doesn't have to be dry and boring and square. it can be smart and sexy and hilarious and interesting: in short, like jeffrey. i am debating taking up a new addiction. maybe sex, or licorice, or jumping jacks, or cloud-counting. any suggestions are welcome.
xo
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
we love you john lester
i rediscovered jane siberry today! there was a strange video on vh-1 in the late 80's called "ingrid and the footman" that i loved, in which she is dressed like a viking dorothy. you can't find it on youtube, but it's on mtv's archive. when i searched her on youtube, i found all of these videos that people had made of their dogs with her song "everything reminds me of my dog" as the soundtrack, and i wondered why ms. siberry hasn't sold that tune to be a jingle for something dog-related. milkbone or petco or tapeworm medicine or something.
maybe because she is canadian?
my birthday was great! it was maybe 94 degrees (is that a band?). e. and i drove around in the convertible and ate frozen yogurt (i actually call it fro-yo. it started out as a mocking thing, like when i started saying "dude" and before i knew it, it was the capper of every sentence out of my mouth.) and bought plants and ate sushi and drank wine and then i drank more wine and made keith watch "harold and maude" for the fiftieth time. he fell asleep before maude died, though.
maude is my idol, including the heidi-ish hairdo. tho i'm not doing a great job of living her legacy lately. ( i am adjunct administrative assistant in the accidental alliteration association, however..) i nearly cried yesterday in the computer lab at school, for example, and today i had a mini-breakdown over my schoolwork. (like a mini-muffin, except not cute. or tasty. and no blueberries.)
goal for this, my official start of middle age: medicate.
xo
maybe because she is canadian?
my birthday was great! it was maybe 94 degrees (is that a band?). e. and i drove around in the convertible and ate frozen yogurt (i actually call it fro-yo. it started out as a mocking thing, like when i started saying "dude" and before i knew it, it was the capper of every sentence out of my mouth.) and bought plants and ate sushi and drank wine and then i drank more wine and made keith watch "harold and maude" for the fiftieth time. he fell asleep before maude died, though.
maude is my idol, including the heidi-ish hairdo. tho i'm not doing a great job of living her legacy lately. ( i am adjunct administrative assistant in the accidental alliteration association, however..) i nearly cried yesterday in the computer lab at school, for example, and today i had a mini-breakdown over my schoolwork. (like a mini-muffin, except not cute. or tasty. and no blueberries.)
goal for this, my official start of middle age: medicate.
xo
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
practically my birthday blues.
there's something about birthdays that just sucks. it's like new year's eve. you are supposed to have the Best! Time! Ever! and also evaluate your life/year to see what's working and what isn't working and adjust accordingly.for example: i didn't get any taller in the last year. what gives? not enough calcium?
i woke up this a.m. with two thoughts neck-and-neck on my brain's track.
1. i need to stop drinking for reals. i am too old for a hangover.
2. i want to make little scenes in shadow boxes with all these plastic things i keep buying, before they all end up under the refrigerator because the cats carried them off.
maybe they are linked, like my personal version of the craft table in an adult foster care house. maybe a glue gun and some pipe cleaner will cure what ails all of us.
xo
i woke up this a.m. with two thoughts neck-and-neck on my brain's track.
1. i need to stop drinking for reals. i am too old for a hangover.
2. i want to make little scenes in shadow boxes with all these plastic things i keep buying, before they all end up under the refrigerator because the cats carried them off.
maybe they are linked, like my personal version of the craft table in an adult foster care house. maybe a glue gun and some pipe cleaner will cure what ails all of us.
xo
Friday, May 9, 2008
band names for imaginary bands
-the johnsons (all-acoustic rock band, consisting of drag queens with full wig-and-glitter)
-the high hard ones (robot costumes and smoke machines. they would sing songs about tenement buildings and raising rabbits for fun & profit)
-new math (i think this one dates me a little, in the same way that you can tell people were born pre-1970 if they have that little round immunization scar on their upper arm. three flutes and a theramin.)
-yes, yes (pronounced "yes comma yes". would be an electonic-goth-avant-garde band, like if you put devo, new order and sisters of mercy in a blender.)
-pin money (an all-girl folk-punk band who wear calico dresses.)
-the dead room (cheerleading costumes, megaphones, three drummers and a man with a long grey beard who sings from inside of a refrigerator box.)
-ABF (an acronym for Anne Bancroft's Army. they can play whatever the fuck they want.)
xoxo
-the high hard ones (robot costumes and smoke machines. they would sing songs about tenement buildings and raising rabbits for fun & profit)
-new math (i think this one dates me a little, in the same way that you can tell people were born pre-1970 if they have that little round immunization scar on their upper arm. three flutes and a theramin.)
-yes, yes (pronounced "yes comma yes". would be an electonic-goth-avant-garde band, like if you put devo, new order and sisters of mercy in a blender.)
-pin money (an all-girl folk-punk band who wear calico dresses.)
-the dead room (cheerleading costumes, megaphones, three drummers and a man with a long grey beard who sings from inside of a refrigerator box.)
-ABF (an acronym for Anne Bancroft's Army. they can play whatever the fuck they want.)
xoxo
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
things i sometimes wish
1. i had learnt to play the cello, because it would be a good showcase for my knees.
2. i hadn't gone out with my first boyfriend, who i honestly only liked because he was beautiful. he was a freak and wanted to keep me locked in his attic room with the tropical fish aquariums. if i had been less shallow (read: self-confident) i would have gone out with the nerdy boy who sat next to me in european history and told me once how he thought don amici was a great actor.
3. i had discovered bikini waxing sooner, or that i was Peaches and didn't bother.
4. i had never asked my first post-high school English teacher whether she thought going to school was really important. she said that if i thought i could live without a car, i could probably survive without going to school. i am certain i was just looking for an excuse to quit school, but still. what kind of freak-ass logic is that? and i listened to her!
5. that i could have my life be exactly how it is now without having to live my life during 1991-1993. everything sucked: me, my friends, the music, my job, my boyfriends, my clothes. i think i read one book during that time and didn't eat a single stalk of broccoli. when the time comes for nostalgia about the 90's i am going to live on the moon.
xoxo
2. i hadn't gone out with my first boyfriend, who i honestly only liked because he was beautiful. he was a freak and wanted to keep me locked in his attic room with the tropical fish aquariums. if i had been less shallow (read: self-confident) i would have gone out with the nerdy boy who sat next to me in european history and told me once how he thought don amici was a great actor.
3. i had discovered bikini waxing sooner, or that i was Peaches and didn't bother.
4. i had never asked my first post-high school English teacher whether she thought going to school was really important. she said that if i thought i could live without a car, i could probably survive without going to school. i am certain i was just looking for an excuse to quit school, but still. what kind of freak-ass logic is that? and i listened to her!
5. that i could have my life be exactly how it is now without having to live my life during 1991-1993. everything sucked: me, my friends, the music, my job, my boyfriends, my clothes. i think i read one book during that time and didn't eat a single stalk of broccoli. when the time comes for nostalgia about the 90's i am going to live on the moon.
xoxo
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
i'm the new black
had lunch with bob yesterday at cafe du berry. the food is amazing, the service is weird (it's like the island of misfit toys for waitstaff. am i just used to the portland hiring style of choosing cuteness over ability? i don't think so. we call our favorite server pagoda. he is of indeterminate foreign origin and has freckles and one time was wearing a very old yucky band-aid on his arm. we love him.), and it feels somehow like a fake restaurant. as if you were eating in someone's kitchen.
then i had a haircut, which is like going to the dentist for me. when i like this particular cut, i laugh and think it looks like joan jett/ hanoi jane. when i don't, i think it looks like janet from three's company. my hairlady told me that she is getting married this summer and i asked who was marrying them (b/c they are doing it on her friend's farm).
hairlady: no one.
me: oh?
hairlady: we aren't doing the legal thing.
so it's like a fairy wedding! like the time i made my barbie marry skipper, even though i knew it wouldn't work out! like when i put two half-containers of mustard into one container and say in a high, yellow voice:
--will you marry me, mustard?
-- why, yes, mustard, i will!
and then make kissing sounds.
interesting.
xo
then i had a haircut, which is like going to the dentist for me. when i like this particular cut, i laugh and think it looks like joan jett/ hanoi jane. when i don't, i think it looks like janet from three's company. my hairlady told me that she is getting married this summer and i asked who was marrying them (b/c they are doing it on her friend's farm).
hairlady: no one.
me: oh?
hairlady: we aren't doing the legal thing.
so it's like a fairy wedding! like the time i made my barbie marry skipper, even though i knew it wouldn't work out! like when i put two half-containers of mustard into one container and say in a high, yellow voice:
--will you marry me, mustard?
-- why, yes, mustard, i will!
and then make kissing sounds.
interesting.
xo
Thursday, May 1, 2008
where the heck have i been?
1. busy!
i am training to run a half-marathon in s.f. in august. plus a healthy dose of school and trying to rehabilitate an 8-year-old beagle i rescued from an unsavory situation on whidbey island. (scout was living outside and just being fed by her owner, who didn't want to be at the house because her husband killed himself there. you can bet i am mining their situation rather heartlessly for writing material.)
2. disorganized!
for one thing, my blogger.com page is IN FRENCH. i know a bare minimum of the language, so sign-in has been a little game which i have lost on several occasions. just like scrabble! (the secret to winning in both situations has been to leave my ego out of it. spelling the most impressive word isn't strategic and not looking french words up isn't going to get you into your blog.) and i never remember my password to anything. i am looking forward to getting old and having my keys and my passwords tucked into my bra or tied around my neck with a piece of yarn.
3. not vegan!
ok, i tried. but by the time easter came, i was being viciously mocked by my family for making pork chops for dinner. ("are those vegan pork chops?!") there are things i can live without (cheese, chicken, bacon, etc.) and then there are things that i! must! have! (cream in my coffee and a burger now and then). and as much as i love being a tourist in the extremist world, i never stay for long. (witness my brief love affairs with my bicycle, yoga, hair extensions, pot smoking, etc.) any activity that involves a membership vibe, including specialty stores and lingo, can only interest me for a short time. i think that's why i love running: other people do it, sure, but you can do it everyday for years and not have to talk to anyone about it. it's solitary. (that and it gives me a reason to punch the air and sing "eye of the tiger")
more to come!
xo
p.s. check out my brother's awesome blog! he's the best! if sasha frere-jones and orson welles had a baby, it would be him!
i am training to run a half-marathon in s.f. in august. plus a healthy dose of school and trying to rehabilitate an 8-year-old beagle i rescued from an unsavory situation on whidbey island. (scout was living outside and just being fed by her owner, who didn't want to be at the house because her husband killed himself there. you can bet i am mining their situation rather heartlessly for writing material.)
2. disorganized!
for one thing, my blogger.com page is IN FRENCH. i know a bare minimum of the language, so sign-in has been a little game which i have lost on several occasions. just like scrabble! (the secret to winning in both situations has been to leave my ego out of it. spelling the most impressive word isn't strategic and not looking french words up isn't going to get you into your blog.) and i never remember my password to anything. i am looking forward to getting old and having my keys and my passwords tucked into my bra or tied around my neck with a piece of yarn.
3. not vegan!
ok, i tried. but by the time easter came, i was being viciously mocked by my family for making pork chops for dinner. ("are those vegan pork chops?!") there are things i can live without (cheese, chicken, bacon, etc.) and then there are things that i! must! have! (cream in my coffee and a burger now and then). and as much as i love being a tourist in the extremist world, i never stay for long. (witness my brief love affairs with my bicycle, yoga, hair extensions, pot smoking, etc.) any activity that involves a membership vibe, including specialty stores and lingo, can only interest me for a short time. i think that's why i love running: other people do it, sure, but you can do it everyday for years and not have to talk to anyone about it. it's solitary. (that and it gives me a reason to punch the air and sing "eye of the tiger")
more to come!
xo
p.s. check out my brother's awesome blog! he's the best! if sasha frere-jones and orson welles had a baby, it would be him!
Sunday, January 6, 2008
nhut quang!
the way i remembered the name was nhut=nut and quang= the sound that happens when you hit someone in the head with a copper pipe. (or, like the fight scenes in the batman t.v. show with adam west: "pow!" "bap!" "kwang!")
after an ill-conceived trip to ikea (tears shed near duvet covers taste particularly humbling; i have done it, my dears, so you don't have to.) k. and i remembered we wanted to try this vietnamese vegan restaurant -- or, as he calls it, veganamese -- on SE 82nd and Fremont.
the location is unassuming ( it's in a tiny parking lot, next to a shell station) and the interior is stark, but as we have learned, candle holders and street name are not the most important factors in our happiness with a meal.
we have, in the past, paid over a hundred dollars for the two of us to eat completely forgettable meals and walked away feeling like we eat better at home. and other times we've been over the moon about eating with plastic forks at a sticky table in a cramped space for ten dollars total.
a nhut quang affair lands squarely between those experiences. it's as presentable as all of the asian eateries on and around se 82nd, and as cheap as a replacement goldfish, but what made k. and i rub our hands together in anticipation was this: WE COULD EAT ANYTHING ON THE MENU! AND NOT HAVE TO ASK THE INGREDIENTS!
we happily devoured:
flat noodles with faux-chicken.
lemongrass faux chicken. (the f-ing best! i think it's wheat gluten mixed with glass noodles.)
green beans with two kinds of faux meat.
brown rice.
and a weird, pink, white and green layered dessert, the bastard child of jello and pudding.
two iced coffees.
total: 27 dollars!
the perfect antidote to the i-cried-in-the-semi-disposable-scandanavian-furniture-store blues! there were no left-overs and k. even did the Happy Food Dance (reminiscent of a kid in the Charlie Brown cartoon dancing, but done sitting down) which cannot be faked and is a definite sign of return visits.
we return tomorrow and i will post photos, which i didn't take today because my hands were too busy with chopsticks. yum!
xo
after an ill-conceived trip to ikea (tears shed near duvet covers taste particularly humbling; i have done it, my dears, so you don't have to.) k. and i remembered we wanted to try this vietnamese vegan restaurant -- or, as he calls it, veganamese -- on SE 82nd and Fremont.
the location is unassuming ( it's in a tiny parking lot, next to a shell station) and the interior is stark, but as we have learned, candle holders and street name are not the most important factors in our happiness with a meal.
we have, in the past, paid over a hundred dollars for the two of us to eat completely forgettable meals and walked away feeling like we eat better at home. and other times we've been over the moon about eating with plastic forks at a sticky table in a cramped space for ten dollars total.
a nhut quang affair lands squarely between those experiences. it's as presentable as all of the asian eateries on and around se 82nd, and as cheap as a replacement goldfish, but what made k. and i rub our hands together in anticipation was this: WE COULD EAT ANYTHING ON THE MENU! AND NOT HAVE TO ASK THE INGREDIENTS!
we happily devoured:
flat noodles with faux-chicken.
lemongrass faux chicken. (the f-ing best! i think it's wheat gluten mixed with glass noodles.)
green beans with two kinds of faux meat.
brown rice.
and a weird, pink, white and green layered dessert, the bastard child of jello and pudding.
two iced coffees.
total: 27 dollars!
the perfect antidote to the i-cried-in-the-semi-disposable-scandanavian-furniture-store blues! there were no left-overs and k. even did the Happy Food Dance (reminiscent of a kid in the Charlie Brown cartoon dancing, but done sitting down) which cannot be faked and is a definite sign of return visits.
we return tomorrow and i will post photos, which i didn't take today because my hands were too busy with chopsticks. yum!
xo
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